Enough caring
by Inamioly
Summary: Mild spoilers for the last few episodes. What if Tony gets enough of Ziva's most recent plan? Think about it: Ziva keeps putting herself in danger without any consideration for anyone's feelings. Well, what if Tony has had enough of that?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, there, guys. I wanted to write this before we understand whatever is going on in Ziva's highly conflicted head. Tell me what you thought about it. I hope you enjoy it!**

The light from the basement was the only thing shining in the agent's house. Tony placed his hands on his pockets to avoid fidgeting and allowed himself a moment before going down the old stairs.

"Hey, Boss." Tony greeted unnecessarily.

Gibbs was working relentlessly on the left part of the boat and acknowledged his presence with a curious nod, smiling to himself. He had not seen Tony that uneasy since he thought he had been caught sleep-talking his secrets away at work. "What's on your mind, DiNozzo?"

Tony stood still in the middle of the basement, debating on whether or not he should voice his thoughts. He sighed, frustrated, and clenched his jaw.

"Well, if you're going to stand there, might as well be useful. Grab that hammer and follow my lead on the right end of the boat. Don't mess it up."

Tony acquiesced, grateful, a hard frown gracing his features. He started hammering, taking turns scraping off the bad wood from some places with a silly-looking instrument Gibbs would hand him from time to time. The silver haired man never glanced up.

"Do you ever get tired of caring?"

"Don't understand the question."

He unclenched his teeth, conflicted. "I can't care anymore. I think I reached the point where I'm no longer capable. I care, I solve whatever problem there is to be solved, and it's never enough! There's always something or someone screwing with what I do, and whatever happiness I achieve never stays for long." He sighed after the long tirade and placed the hammer on the bench beside him.

"Need a little more than that, Tony. You just described the normal workings of life. It isn't fair, but it's like that."

"I can't..." He murmured. "'Cause... if I'm wrong..."

"Your gut. Does your gut tell you you're wrong?"

"No." He stated, confident.

"So, what's the problem?"

"I want to be wrong."

Gibbs looked up with a raised eyebrow. "Elaborate."

Tony inhaled, his eyes shadowy. "If I'm right, Ziva will be dead in a month."

...

Minutes passed in silence. Gibbs tried to process the accuracy of Tony's prediction, and the younger man entertained himself with hammering a pile of rotten wood.

"Tony." Gibbs called.

"Hmm..." With a loud noise, splinters of wood were spread all around the floor.

"Tony!" He barked. "Look at me."

Tony did as instructed, a hard gaze falling on concerned eyes.

"What do you know?"

"I know she has been planning to avenge her father's death for quite a while now. And I know she booked a flight to Israel for next week. The last one was McGeek's contribution, clearly."

Gibbs sighed. "I've been keeping an eye on her, but she's been damn elusive about her coping ways. It was only a matter of time until all of her unprocessed grief reared its ugly head."

Tony smashed his fist onto the boat. "But how is that okay, Boss? How is it okay for her to decide to disappear _again_ without so much as a warning? I'm her partner, Boss... I'm her freaking partner, and that means nothing to her anymore, if it ever did."

"No-one said it was okay, DiNozzo. I only said it was natural. And don't be such a baby; you and I know well enough how much you mean to her. She's not thinking straight right now, that's it. Everyone in her life tends to die or go rogue. She's had enough disappointment to last for a lifetime." Gibbs paused. "She's the one who's tired of caring. I suspect she intends for this to be her last caring act."

Tony's eyes widened. "No... no, Boss, not again. I can't... _damn, Ziva_." He whispered brokenly. "Are we never enough?"

Gibbs eyed his agent with subtle concern. "It has nothing to do with you, DiNozzo. You do know that, right?"

"It didn't then, it doesn't now..." His voice was dripped with sarcasm. "I don't know if you've noticed, but it's not only her who keeps ending up disappointed. I know I'm the one getting out without a scratch of these _situations_, but I'll be damned if it feels like it anymore." He grabbed the hammer distractedly and sat on the bench. "I always try to keep her with us, but she keeps trying to die. Am I doing enough?"

The older agent rubbed his wrinkled forehead. He wished he had a good answer, or at least a coherent one, but Ziva was a puzzle for Tony to figure out. No matter how much he tried, Gibbs would never understand her to the lengths Tony did. "She won't die." He spoke calmly, and with a confidence he didn't have. "We won't let her."

"Not again." Tony whispered, concealing his face in the shadows.

"She never did, Tony."

"It felt like it."

"I know." He sighed. "And, Tony?"

"Yes, Boss?" Tony forced himself to look up.

"I'm not letting you give up either." Gibbs placed the tools on the ground and walked around the boat, stopping behind Tony. With a loud smack, his hand collided with the back of his head. Shaking his head, Gibbs went to the kitchen to grab a beer, as they had a lot to plan. "Idiot. Tired of caring... As if."

**A/N: So, how was it? This was merely an introduction. Tony and Ziva have such amazing chemistry that I find it incredibly difficult to put it on paper (even if I'm just writing Tony). I hope you like it, though. Somehow, I think Tony probably feels extremely scared to see the past happening again, and he probably would only admit it to Gibbs (and in confidence). That **_**happy guy **_**mask he seems to be wearing every freaking episode can't possibly hold when Ziva's life is in danger – we don't know that it is, but Ziva has quite a knack for getting herself into trouble, being therefore highly likely that she ends up in a near-death situation -.-'**

**Thank you for reading! Review, my dears, and have a very nice week **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: SORRY FOR THE DELAY. I'm not ashamed to admit a certain degree of writer's block... I hope you enjoy it and deem your wait worthy.**

As if on cue, the next morning started out slow. Vance came by the bullpen a few times to check on the agents, and apart from scarce dialogs, the team was left alone to dwell on their own things.

Tony squinted his eyes at the very bright sun – perhaps too bright – and cleared his throat. Gibbs remained silent, smirking to himself. Dinozzo was starting to regret having tried to keep up with him and his _night coffee_.

"Those papers all signed yet, Dinozzo?"

"Almost, Boss."

Mcgee snorted, peeking at his pile of paperwork. "If that's your almost, then I finished two hours ago."

"Speedy McQueen. Have a cookie." And Tony opened his drawer. McGee leaned on his chair, curiously, a pleased grin on his face, until Tony threw an abnormally large eraser at his forehead.

"Ow! Boss!" Surprised, McGee all but fell from the chair, earning a few chuckles from Gibbs and Ziva.

"Never let your guard down, McGee."

"Not even for cookies." Ziva added with a smile, leaning back on her chair. "Especially not Tony's."

The mentioned agent slightly raised his eyebrows to the light provocation, focused on the forms on his desk. "And why's that?"

"Well, everyone knows you do not store your cookies anywhere, since you eat them before they can even blink."

"Cookies don't blink." Tony looked up and stared into Ziva's teasing eyes. Without breaking eye contact, he reached for the other drawer. "And it seems you don't know me that well..." He stood up, grabbed his backpack and stopped in front of her desk. "Here, have an Oreo, Ziva. Permission to take off, Boss?"

Gibbs eyed him warily. Ziva frowned, confused.

"Be back before three."

"Thanks, Boss."

And then he left, hollow steps echoing in the busy bullpen. Gibbs' heavy breaths were all they heard for some time, until Ziva murmured. "I was joking."

McGee sighed. "I wasn't. Why do I never get the cookies?"

...

"This is probably the best ice-cream I've had since that chocolate cheesecake one you made last time." Tony said, licking his lips.

Abby laughed. They were sitting down on the floor of her lab, behind the glassy door, and all the lights were out except for one. "I'm surprised you can even talk. You'll get indigestion if you keep eating this quickly, y'know?"

"To hell with that. My massive hangover tells me otherwise. You know how awful it is being hungry and being unable to eat without puking your guts out? Apart from this ice-cream, I mean. Genius, pure genius." He licked the bowl.

"Ew, yucky!" She grabbed the bowl from his hands, his silly grin indicating he'd had enough. "Now talk."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Talk? Nah-ah, missy. I came here to eat, not talk."

"Nuh-uh, big bro. You wanted girl therapy, and I'll give you that – starting with the fun part, and ending with the crappy one." She paused. "Just refrain from crying in the end and we'll be good."

"Abby..." He protested.

"No, you're right. I'm being selfish. You can cry all you want, Tony." She apologised quickly and, as if on cue, grabbed a pack of tissues from the chair behind her. "See? I was prepared. Now spill."

Tony sighed. "Can't I just be left alone...?" Abby snuggled in his lap, and he hugged her, chuckling. "Guess not."

"You guess right." She informed her, in a know-it-all manner. "Now, talk, please. I'm growing gray hairs here."

Tony laid his chin on the top of her head, deep in thought. He cleared his throat. "We're losing her, Abs." He murmured.

The goth gasped. "Ziva?"

"No, Jenny. Oh, sorry, that one we already lost." He snapped, sarcastic.

Abby gaped at him, tears forming in her eyes. "Not funny, Tony." She sobbed quietly.

"I know." He cleared his throat again, hugging her tighter. "It's... uh... it's just scary, y'know?"

She sighed. "What has she done?"

"Nothing yet. But as soon as she lands on Israel... we lose her. And this time, I'm not so sure we'll get her back."

"She's going back? Why?" Abby straightened up, suddenly angry. "It took us so freaking much to save her the last time."

Tony allowed his body to slouch and put his head on his hands, running them through his hair. Suddenly the floor was not so comfortable anymore, despite the yoga mattress Abby had laid for them to sit on. Suddenly... suddenly that closed space seemed less safe than before, and he felt the overwhelming urge to run.

"You reckon I'd be happy somewhere else?" He asked, forcing a boyish grin.

Abby stared at him intently, very honest anger visible in her frown. "Don't even joke about it." Hearing his heavy breath and conflicted smile in his grunt, she added, softening her brows. "You wouldn't. And you know that; you don't need me to say it."

"I kinda do, Abs."

She chuckled, and then whispered conspiratorially. "It's okay if you do. I like being needed. Y'know, sometimes."

He lifted his head and kissed the top of her head. "I'll always need you, sis."

Abby flashed him a grin. He tried to stand up, and when he couldn't, he used her shoulder for support, teasingly. She almost fell on the mattress, and, despite the shaky balance, managed to smack the lower part of his leg. "Ow, Tony!"

He laughed and ruffled her hair, messing up her ponytails. "Love ya too, Abs."

...

Gibbs piled up his unfinished paperwork and prepared to leave.

"You heading out, Boss?" McGee asked, only glancing up for a second.

"Nope." He walked towards Ziva's desk, who slowly lifted her head. His eyes met hers, defiance in the latter's, and he spoke seriously. "Tony must be coming back right now." He heard her sigh, and added. "You owe him that much."

"Gibbs..."

"I'll be with Ducky." He informed them both, ignoring the Israeli's protest. Pausing, he murmured only hard enough for her to hear. "Regrets are hard enough knowing there's time for second chances. Imagine walking to your death with one you will never make right. Don't do that to yourself... don't do that to him."

**A/N: How did you like it? I especially enjoyed writing Abby and Tony's scene. They are such a cute pair of siblings ^^**

**Reviews are always appreciated; I love to learn from your comments!**

**Kisses!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well, here's the TIVA talk I've wanted to write for a loooong time! Enjoy!**

The elevator doors opened with a _bing!_, and a mildly surprised Tony was left facing a conflicted Ziva. He knew she was conflicted, yes; despite her relaxed eyebrows, her slightly parted lips, and her loose arms, her bright, wavering pupils gave her inner wars away.

"Excuse me." He asked, polite, brushing her away with a firm hand, which she blocked easily.

"Not yet." Ziva said, and pushed him back into the corner of the elevator. The elevator doors closed, and she tightened her lips. There was no going back.

He locked eyes with the Israeli, furrowing his brow in a frail attempt at discouraging her, and she smiled.

"You will need more than that, Tony." Closing her eyes, Ziva breathed in. "I merely wish to speak to you. You are only required to listen."

Tony huffed. "Well, if that's that, then..."

"Listen." She took a large step closer, vanishing the gap between then save for a few polite inches.

"Fly away, ninja. Too close." Tony crossed his arms and eyed her sternly.

"It is always fun to tease you." She lowered her head, her forehead brushing his chest. "I do not open up. It is not in my nature to share what makes me most vulnerable; it implies that someone other than me is aware of my weaknesses. It is not... safe." She paused to contemplate her fingers.

Tony spread one arm to press the stop button, and then allowed himself to relax his posture, subtly offering his arm as support.

"I like that about us, Tony." She murmured, smiling timidly. "You know everything that crosses my mind, sometimes even before it does. And always without me having to voice those thoughts. It... it is really something."

The dim light was somewhat comforting, but Ziva's words echoed something entirely different in Tony's ears. He started to grow more restless by the minute, and his body stiffened at the impending meaning behind the israeli's confession.

"I need you to use your super powers now, Tony." She smiled softly, attempting a playful tone. "I know you know. I do not know how you found out, but I can tell you do."

As if a moving car, to which you give a slight push and it derails, Tony shook his head and pushed her away, recoiling to the other corner of the elevator.

"That's the thing, Zi! That's the freaking thing!" He yelled, frustrated, and she stood there, unbalanced as she tried to make sense of the outburst. "You expect me to stay put until you need saving. You expect me to let you make the same mistakes you always do, and then come to your rescue. I'm glad you feel safe with me." He smacked the wall. "I'm freaking glad you feel safe with me, but the thing is, Zee-Vah, it's me who doesn't feel safe with you."

Her shocked expression matched her tone. "Tony..."

"Oh, it isn't about me dying, no. I don't doubt you have my back – literally. But do you have any idea... any idea, really," He hammered the words, his stiff posture wearing off. "how much it hurts to know that no matter how many times I save you, I will never be enough to make you want to stay alive?"

Ziva gaped at him, shimmering eyes defying his own. "It is not about you. Don't make it abo-"

"Oh, it is about me." He smirked. "For future reference, it is about me, Ziva. When you all but pay someone to get yourself killed, it becomes about me. It has to do with you? Then it becomes about me. I'm your partner, your friend, I'm _someone_ to you."

Her lower lip trembled, and she brushed her thumb against the scar in her wrist. _Somalia_. "I won't let it get to that." She murmured, firm. "They won't get that far."

He snorted. "What? You'll die before they touch you?"

Ziva held her gaze up, a tear falling down her cheek. The atmosphere grew heavier.

"You'd give up everything you have now for revenge?" He asked, suddenly gentle before her admission, lacking the emotional strength to be as brusque as he wanted.

"It is not a choice." She sat down slowly, resting her head on the wall. "I would rather not, but it is something I have to do, Tony. I do not want it, though." She bit her lip. "I promise."

Tony sat on the opposite side, running a hand through his hair.

"You don't have to."

"I do."

"No, you don't." He insisted. "You could stay here. He'll kill you, Ziva. You could stay here, where I can keep you safe. You know, _safer_, ninja." He offered her a smile.

She smiled back, the corners of her mouth sad as she fidgeted. "Here?"

"Hum hum." He nodded.

"In this elevator?"

He grinned. "No safer place on earth."

"Untrue. We can still fall to our deaths."

"Unlikely."

"But possible."

Tony sighed. "True."

Ziva eyed him expectantly. "Protect me there. Come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me." She repeated. "Come with me, and I promise to take care of myself. I'll have your back, but I'll also have mine."

"Same thing." He informed her with a glint in his eye. "Why, is that an invitation?"

"Don't expect a card, DiNozzo." She teased, and then turned serious. "But I would really like to have you there with me."

"Then I'll be there. Simple as that." Tony shrugged and stood up, Ziva following his lead. They unpressed the stop button. "Where is it we're going again?"

Ziva smiled. "_Verona_, _mio caro_."

Was it Christmas already? Why, dear Tony, yes it was.

**A/N: Verona is in Italy, for those who don't know : ))**

**One thing: I opted not to have them go to Berlin so I can be as original as my mind allows me to. Hope you enjoyed!**


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